So I was thinking the other night as I was not able to go to sleep that she has been gone pretty much all of my adult life and nearly half my life has been without her and it did make me a little teary about it.... not something I have been for a very long time.
The picture above is of her family just the 3 of them all gone now. We lost Nan 3 months before mum from cancer, mums death was sudden from a brain hemorrhage in the February a week after my 23rd birthday and Pop survived until he was 92(15 years as a widow) I think happy to be reunited with the two loves of his life after being separated for so long.
At the time you think you will never get over it, I know Pop never got over the sudden loss of the both in so short a time. I now forget about the things that use to upset me and have learnt to live without them. Like ringing her a couple of times a day, sharing the major milestones in my life and getting help when the kids are sick....just being able to ask what did you use to do when such and such happened. You get sad about the wealth of history that has been lost that is no longer passed on and having someone to go shopping with and sharing things with, that just doesn't happen anymore and the unconditional love that Mum's always have.
I truly believe that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and I know I am a stronger being for having had this loss and probably have a different attitude to life than what I would have had if Mum had lived to this day.
So Happy Birthday Mum hope you are having beer with Pop as you use to do on this warm day.
Lots of Love Mandy