04 February 2009

Memories Happy Birthday Mum

Today would have been my mother's 67th birthday...but then who am I kidding she would have only admitted to being maybe 55 if that.  My mum always lied about her age when she died at 49 she always said that she was 39 and she got away with it.  Many people were shocked to discover that she was as old as she was and they only found out about it at her funeral.

So I was thinking the other night as I was not able to go to sleep that she has been gone pretty much all of my adult life and nearly half my life has been without her and it did make me a little teary about it.... not something I have been for a very long time.  

The picture above is of her family just the 3 of them all gone now.  We lost Nan 3 months before mum from cancer, mums death was sudden from a brain hemorrhage in the February a week after my 23rd birthday and Pop survived until he was 92(15 years as a widow) I think happy to be reunited with the two loves of his life after being separated for so long.

At the time you think you will never get over it, I know Pop never got over the sudden loss of the both in so short a time.  I now forget about the things that use to upset me and have learnt to live without them.  Like ringing her a couple of times a day, sharing the major milestones in my life and getting help when the kids are sick....just being able to ask what did you use to do when such and such happened.  You get sad about the wealth of history that has been lost that is no longer passed on and having someone to go shopping with and sharing things with, that just doesn't happen anymore and the unconditional love that Mum's always have.  

I truly believe that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and I know I am a stronger being for having had this loss and probably have a different attitude to life than what I would have had if Mum had lived to this day.

So Happy Birthday Mum hope you are having beer with Pop as you use to do on this warm day.
Lots of Love Mandy


Lorraine said...

Amanda.....it hurts doesn't it - I still have my mum but Dad passed away a year ago and there isn't a day goes by when I don't think of him and even catch myself sometims thinking " I must ask Dad" or "I must tell Dad".....I was lucky to have him in my life for so long! take care

Sue said...

Jeepers creepers ... you made me cry. A very special happy birthday to you dear mum. And I think I had better go and ring mine and say Hi!
Cheers S

Leanne said...

Lovely post Amanda your mum would have been proud. I really miss my dad we got on so well I attribute all my handiness to him.

Anonymous said...

Amanda... my heart goes out to you. My mum would have been 69 a week ago. Unfortunately, I lost her at a very young age. I know though what you mean by wanting to ask about things. So here's cheers to our Mum's.

Rustic Tarts said...

A lovely,thoughtful post Amanda - makes us remember to treasure what we have and what we had.